Mending the Net: Just beneath your skin where the light does fall

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Just beneath your skin where the light does fall

There are footsteps that make my skin crawl: there are times I seem to catapult from this body into a place full of fear and anticipation. These are times that I sometimes foolishly let cloud my thoughts - that a few moments of folly, temptation, murky memories of atrocities mar me insufferably. That my existence is one of pain and hardship and, I admit that I have grappled with this word on more than one occasion, cursed.

The word curse always brings me to Job... it's not as if the Bible is bereft of cursings, they feature mightily, but Job is where my heart is called to when I try to apply the word to myself in any way.

Resentment kills a fool,
and envy slays the simple.

I myself have seen a fool taking root,
but suddenly his house was cursed...

...For hardship does not spring from the soil,
nor does trouble sprout from the ground.

Yet man is born to trouble
as surely as sparks fly upward

But if it were I, I would appeal to God;
I would lay my cause before him.

He performs wonders that cannot be fathomed,
miracles that cannot be counted...

The lowly he sets on high,
and those who mourn are lifted to safety.

He thwarts the plans of the crafty,
so that their hands achieve no success.

He catches the wise in their craftiness,
and the schemes of the wily are swept away.

Darkness comes upon them in the daytime;
at noon they grope as in the night.

He saves the needy from the sword in their mouth;
he saves them from the clutches of the powerful.

So the poor have hope,
and injustice shuts its mouth.

Job 5:2-3, 6-9, 11-16 NIV

Oh those words speak to me in ways I can't even begin to describe. Just think about them - there is nothing in this world that we can truly call our own except sin and trouble, that's what Eliphaz is saying to Job! Our sins come from ourselves, they are not down to anyone else. Jesus died to save us from the ultimate truth of this knowledge - He washed us clean with his blood so that now when we sin (which we are all bound to do) we only have to admit it and ask forgiveness.

God is so mighty - He won't let those who seek to harm, the evildoers, the crafty win out. He is the one with the higher plan. Even in our darkest moments when we question "Why has this happened to me? How is God letting this go on? Doesn't He know how much I love Him?" - He still has that plan of His, you know. It's still there. He is always looking for hearts open and willing for His use to further His work.

When we sin, our wrongdoings, our temptations that we let "win" - these matter. They fly upwards, just like sparks do! Sparks! They that jump out of the fire and burn - it's unexpected as to the exact moment that they jump, but we all know that if there's an open fire, there are going to be sparks jumping around. What we don't know is when... but guess what? God does. He knows. And by the death of His only Son, it's already forgiven! My gosh, what a statement that is. We only have to own up to it, and BAM! the slate is clean.

We are such a prideful species that we actually have more trouble forgiving ourselves than God has with forgiving us. And it's so awful of us, it really is. God actually sacrified His Son for us to save us from all this, and what - we can't forgive ourselves for things we do wrong? Was Jesus' death not enough of a show? Was His blood not enough to wash us clean? What pride.

Giving your life into God's keeping, trusting Him completely means that, yes, your faith may be tested; just think how strong you'll come out the other side. It's happened to me more than once, and I've survived through God's grace. I gave Him my soul and He lent it back to me. So I have to take such good care of it now, it's like a library book that I don't know quite when to return yet, but I know that I will know when it is time.

And as for cursed - like God would lend me anything cursed!


Anonymous Lindsay said...

I hope you know how desperately I needed to read this.

One of the things I struggle most with as a Christian is the gift of salvation. I didn't do anything to earn it and I sure don't deserve it. The concept is sometimes so big that it awes me.

What a beautiful post.

'AutumnHarvest' at the GodlyGals forum

7:12 pm  
Blogger Eliza said...

Lindsay! I'm so glad God led you to my post when you needed it most *hugs*

I can't tell you how much it touched me that what I wrote struck a chord. Praise God for moving me to write those words!

~ Eliza

3:04 pm  

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